one i will throw at the ground infront of you, and scream; “look what you made me do!”
the second i will throw at God, with likewise words but opposite intentions.
the third i will wear around my neck as a symbol of a part of me that i am afraid of being.
the fourth is for the wind, and maybe, it will carry it away.
the fifth one i will use for one last hurrah.

and the other half i will throw into the sea. because they make me a national statistic and they’re no good for me.

xthetroublex

xTheTroublex

We are beautifully destructive to each other.
They saw us fall, our broken pieces.
Two worlds once merged shrank back,
And broken hearts lay cold in the pan.
And that broken space in the atmosphere hung.
Your heart broke, so deep the pain plunged.
For the first time.
And curled up in my bed,
I realized I’d lost it all.No heartbreak before was worth what consumed me then.
We fell, like rain.
We fell so hard, after falling so hard,
That the smack against the pavement
Was a thunder clap.

We were immaculately shaped to fit the other.
Clashing, we do.
Only so that, we can erode ourselves more perfectly.
You are my north star.
My, only direction to go.
I can only follow you.
Because you light my eyes, with a thousand tears.
And, a smile.
I was a rejected, and you showed me off.
So everyone knew I was something more than what the world made me.
Sometimes you resented me, because I was in fact, un-chosen.
And sometimes it was all I could do from my place
On your wall
To hide myself.

And there were times, you hardly noticed me.
You passed me on your way out the door.
And I was nothing to you.

But we were made for the other.
Made to, make it.
There’s nothing more I can do.
But hold your beautiful eyes in mine.
And love you the only way I’ve ever known.
Forever.

xTheTroublex

I love you deeply, as my heart became a well the minute you looked in,
And all of it’s contents dropped to the bottom.
So far down, that if you were to fall, in,
You might touch my very soul.

I love you suddenly, because that is how you appeared,
Like the sun,
So quickly, that no sooner had I blinked,
Than you stood, waiting for me.
But without any, pride.

I love you not as if you are a gift, or song
But as if you are apart of me,
As if every move I make you make too.
Every word I speak, you hear.

So that perhaps when my time runs out,
You can hear my voice as I hear yours.
Clearly without an echo of what was.
As our, love has been since that day in October.
When, I became we.

xTheTroublex

the orange corduroy shirt wrinkled with laugh lines from old jokes.
and i wonder:
WHAT CONSUMES 1(ONE) MAN WITH SUCH VIGOR?

what pulls away, out of the mind, onto the white lined paper.
line
after line
after line.
he dreams?
he worries?
he dies?
he lives?
a story?
a poem?

mad men do funny things.

i dare not doubt his talent. for i know his words are much greater than my own.
mine have not seen his life.
i don’t know the bone-thin hands that scribe unknown verse.
scribble
after
scrawl.

he takes one away from life. where looming children and hidden hatred shine from under the porch light.
leave it on for me?

and still, i pull away from the mind.
onto the vanilla paper.
this old man, he played one.
at the coffee shop today.

and then i see him think of nothing more to say. aquiring worldly sight (his glasses) he drifts back down to the scene he potrays. downtown this cold afternoon. sitting infront of a cartoon with dreams so vivid not even the best love song could sway them from their poisonous place.
dear writer, please write for me, and the ages. before the grey clouds you over and mother earth comes to make peace.

xTheTroublex

xTheTroublex

xtheTroublex

xTheTroublex

xTheTroublex

Let’s change your image.
teases the “perfect” body type.
a few more trips to the gym.
and everything will fit just right.

Let’s change your image.
giggle the parties and the dances.
get those hips in motion.
be wild, make advances.

Let’s change your image.
say the friends that haven’t hurt a thing.
you can’t actually just hang out with guys.
you whore, are you blowing them all or something?

Let’s change your image
whispers the conscience in my mind.
none of this is true.
stick to your gut and everything will be fine.

can someone help me change this image?
i know i’m not alone.
but it’s much harder to lift my head high.
when my spirit has no home.

please stop telling me what i should be.
and all the social rules.
i’m not a slut or fashion model.
I’m not that wild, stupid or cruel.

I am a teenage girl,
won’t you voices of society leave me alone.
because i’m sure all of us teenage girls,
aren’t appreciative of your tone.